Ups and Downs

This month has been really depressing. First, I found out things that I shouldn't have, then everything went haywired and I had to give up a part of me that have been with me for the past 3 years. Next, I lost my Z610i which I have been using for 3 years (yes, 3 years too) which was still working fine and I didn't intend to buy a new phone at all. And then I found that I've lost my student ID card(for the 2nd time) only god knows when and where it went missing. And I keep losing my hair clips, urgh so annoying I've replenished like so many times and now I am left with none or broken one again! Now, I have my final exams to study for and I'm trying my best to concentrate.

I have so many things going on in my mind or perhaps I should say there's only one thing that is serious and big enough to conquer my whole mind and makes me feel like its a lot. Yes, I am still thinking about you,fml. And I am worried about so many things, so many that I can't even find words to explain. Its just too much.sigh :(

I have accepted the fact that we are no longer related and that we have nothing to do with each other anymore and that we're just ordinary friends. I've been trying as hard as I could to stay cool and pretend like nothing is wrong but I guess it still has to come back every now and then chasing after me, reminding me about you and about what happened.

I may look like I am fine and and truth is, I AM REALLY fine its just that its impossible to not think about it at all, right? And as what everyone's been telling me and I keep telling myself too, all I need is time..:) I believe time will heal everything too.

I am just so glad that I have my family, my mother, my cousin brother and my friends (you guys know who you are) who have stood by me and supporting me and they are all great listeners! Without them, I don't think I would have been able to stand up so soon. A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU AND I LOVE YA ALL!!! <3

As much as I hate all these, they are still a part of me, part of my life journey. I am trying my best to hold everything together and stay strong. And I know I will..:)


I might have got lost in the process but I know now its time to find my way back to....myself.


♥